The girls are having none of your shit.
something i hate is how in a lot of movies the ugly guy gets the hot chick but when the ugly chick gets the hot guy she has to go through a beautiful transition into a sexy woman first
I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.
"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"
This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.
I guarantee you, the woman has packed all her stuff, plus her kids’ stuff, plus all the shit her husband forgot to pack. Five minutes into their vacation, dude will be cursing because he forgot something important, and his wife will be like, “Here it is. I thought you’d need it, so I packed it, along with all of your underwear, socks, swimsuit, toothbrush, and deodorant because apparently you confused our family trip to Disney World with an overnight couple’s stay at a nudist colony. You’re welcome.”
Laugh it up, assholes. Without us, you’d be wearing the same underwear three days straight, including poolside.
Cate & Toothless at the Cannes Film Festival
i am literally the only person in my history class who has been turning in work consistently all year and i just got an email from my professor saying that if i’m not feeling up to it i dont have to bother writing the 18 page final paper he assigned i just have to not tell anybody god is real